Music has started to take over my life. It’s what I want to pursue. It has become my dream, my passion. This is who I am.
In the past I have always sought to save people in romantic relationships and friendships alike. It never worked out. I would always take on my significant other’s problems, I would always go the extra mile to help a friend and in the end I would get overwhelmed. I would become burdened, tired, frustrated and I’d give up. “You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved,” I’d tell myself.
Or can you?
I have a message to share, a story to tell. And through my music I can do that. I have struggled, like so many others to speak my mind and to be heard. For the longest time, I didn’t have a voice. My parents, friends, family, professors, colleagues and peers used to tune me out or overlook me. They still do.
But when I share my music, people listen. My words speak for themselves.
Music has given me the voice I have never had. And while I am still afraid of my own voice, I’m starting to use it more. All I want to do now is write music. School has lost my interest and maybe it shouldn’t be that way-especially when finals are two weeks away, but I cannot deny this calling longer. This dream is consuming me….I want to be an artist.
I’m scared. God, I am so petrified of pursuing this path. Society repetitively has told me I need to be responsible. I need to get a job, pay my bills, listen to my parents, be a good girl, buy a house, get married, have kids-none of which is important to me anymore. I don’t want that life, not now anyways. I want the life of an artist. I want to be a siren, I want to save people and I want to be saved. I want to travel and I want to talk with strangers, I want to sing, I want to write and I want to listen. I want to grow and change. I want to fall in love over and over again. I’m starting to think that for me-music is my big love.
And when I fall asleep tonight and dream of the stars and some reality far, far away I hope that God listens. I hope he understands. I hope he gives me the strength I need to pursue this path and I sincerely hope with all heart that when tomorrow comes and I open my eyes I have the resilience and perseverance to dedicate one part of everyday to pursuing this dream until it becomes a reality.
She's some thing. 